Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Different.

For all that he's ever done to help and abide by me, I respect my father - but I still think he's wrong. You see, he takes the point of view that anything that is different is automatically wrong. He grew up in early 1960's Birmingham, a city at a time rife with racism and prejudice. Guess it informed the man he grew up to be - somebody who quite willingly shouts slur like "Paki" or "terrorist" at any passing Asian man or woman just because... well, they aren't like him.

He's also got a lot of venom for homosexuals. Everytime he's 'sure' that a gay man or lesbian woman is near, without exception, he'll make a comment - usually jokey in tone - to try and intimidate them, or unsettle them, or cause upset. Just because they're different, and he can.

It's unsettling watching him do it; and until recently, I never dared to have the courage to tell him to stop doing it, because "stop" invokes a lot of power - and my Dad intimidates me so much, because he's my Dad and that's a very Dad thing to do, that I never dared realise that inside me I had that power, to say one little word. "Stop".

He won't change, my Dad. As long as he lives, he'll still have those thoughts inside of him - even if, after recent outbursts on my behalf, he never airs them infront of me again. People like that don't change; they can't - because it's in their nature.

It's one of the reasons why a show like Torchwood connects with me so greatly. Sure, I think it's dramatically flawed, and the characters sometimes don't connect or resinate with the audience as much as they could do, but I respect that the show has balls. And not just teeny-weeny things; we're talking mega sized testes. What other primetime show, now cut down for a family audience, would dare show sexuality so freely, and with immense fun?

Sure, we have "Queer as Folk" and "Six Feet Under" and "The L Word", but don't quite click with a mainstream audience, especially a British one, now do they?

I respect Torchwood for simply putting two fingers up at the established idea of popular homophobia and having a general sexually liberated philosphy. We need more shows like that if people like my Dad are to understand that they're wrong - and more importantly, why they're wrong.

It's a reason why I'm not too sure about "The Making of Me" (BBC One, July 24th, 9pm) which shows John Barrowman exploring the reasons behind homosexuality - more specifically, what makes people gay. To be honest, the programme makes me a little uneasy, because it's another of those shows that seperates straight from gay - it's main agenda being to show audiences that gay means different than you or I.

Shows like Torchwood are needed to demonstrate to the world that that's simply not true - to be gay or lesbian is a mere sexual orientation. To take away human rights based upon that (or any other prejudice) is simply wrong.

You may/may not be the biggest Torchwood fan around, or might be a casual viewer who's stumbled across this site by mistake, but learn something from this wonderful cheeky and irrelevant show of our's - different = good. Next time somebody tells you differently, shut them up. In the nicest possible way, they deserve it.

So, here goes...

Dad, you're wrong - just like so many others.

Look at Torchwood for example. It's flawed as Hell and a little directionless much of the time; but it got one thing right. This is the 21st century, and it's time that things changed.

UPDATE: There's a lovely JB snippet here.

25 comments:

jmd said...

since the show has not aired i am not sure how you knwow its agenda.
as a gay man i must say we are different, that does not mean bad or evil, differnet does not mean that. also i do not belive JB would be in a show wich would be negative.
your heart is in the right place and for than i thank you

jmd said...

sorry for the mistakes

Salina said...

The agenda may not be to show that gay/bisexuals are "different" but to show that there are physical and biological reasons (meaning perfectly natural reasons) that make a person who they are, including their sexual orientation. Too many people think being gay is a selfish, lustful choice- it's what my dad thought- and to show that it isn't a choice and is very real, is a good thing. I think.

Awesome article at any rate. I love John, Jack and Torchwood for making the world feel like a cozier, more accepting place.

Anonymous said...

A really excellent article, worthy of wider reading than it might get here.

nojarama said...

I personally believe in both "choice" & "born" ideals regarding sexuality. All though I'd like to believe I chose to be gay, methinks (and countless others who know me) I came out of the womb a queen.

I completely agree with your blog & await to see what the show reveals.

Anonymous said...

I don't think it's the place of TV to try and flog off on the general populace that despicable, deviant behavior is "just folks". I was enjoying Torchwood until the episodes about the 1941 dancehall and the Captn Jack coming back from the dead - clearly showed the program was pushing a homosexual agenda. Unacceptable. And it's unacceptable by 98% of the population of Earth.

Anonymous said...

So many comments, such a small keyboard.
1st to Anonymous, said with as much politeness as possible on a blogboard, you are wrong,in both your attitude and your facts. Homosexuals make up approximately 10% of any given population. So think of 9 people you know. If none of them are gay, it's probably you totally repressed. If you believe different = wrong, I should automatically 'hate' you because you are intolerant and I am not. But I don't because you are the product of training and outdated social mores. You can't help being what you are, but unlike gays you CAN change by opening your mind and learning that diversity is a wonderful thing. You probably shouldn't watch TW until you have absorbed the lessons of Dr Who.

Anonymous said...

Comments continued :~D
JackHarkness- your namesake would be proud of you and welcome to the world of adulthood. It is a mental/emotional shift when you begin to see your parent as an adult separate and apart from the person who raised you with flaws and foibles that you cannot change, only accept.

Would you mind if I linked to it on AfterElton? They take interest in all things TW and I feel your comments are important.

Finally JackHarkness I think your take on the new show could be tweaked alittle. Folks like your Dad need to know if homosexuals "choose" their sexuality or not. If they can prove it is genetic bigots will have to admit it's not the person's "fault" but a combination of the parents' genes. Much like how we no longer hold illegitimacy against the child but hold the parents responsible for (possibly) procreating indiscriminatly. Gay people will tell you they just "knew" they were different (at increasingly younger ages as images they see on TV give them the words to express themselves). Note to Anonymous if s/he is still reading - seeing the images doesn't make them gay it just puts a name to the feelings they already had. Gays ARE different but that's a fact to be celebrated, not feared! As much as I love my gay male friends (I can cruise w/ the best of them) at the end of the day I'm going home alone. Sometimes I feel its a club I can't join (think women allowed to lunch in a Men's Club but unable to become a
member) and I take comfort in the words of Groucho Marx, I wouldn't join a club that would have me as a member! That being said I firmly believe gays deserve all the same rights as heterosexuals including marriage (and divorce!) and the ability to adopt. And to add to what JB says in the Guardian article, no matter how good the sex maybe, who would choose to be part of such a persecuted minority?

Anonymous said...

Very heartfelt Jack - kryswynusa is right, your namesake would be proud!

I was a little uneasy hearing about the show too - I'm a curious chap and would love to take a look at the whys and wherefores that contribute to a person's sexuality, but I do worry that it seems... well, a bit defensive, as if trying to 'justify' something which is as natural and normal as different eye colours and doesn't require justification.

But I don't want to make judgements before I've seen it - it's perfectly possible to look at these issues scientifically without bias in either direction and I'm sure it will at least be interesting!

Lastly - I won't be drawn into discussing the "homosexual agenda" again (in a show where every character has had a heterosexual relationship, I might point out), so I will just assume that Anonymous was just tugging our chains. So to speak.

Vivienne said...

Right. So in 'Everything Changes' Owen demonstrates that he'll shag anything with a pulse, gender immaterial. In 'Day One' Gwen snogs a woman while the rest of the team applaud. In 'Greeks Bearing Gifts' Tosh finally gets a relationship - with a woman (or at least, so she thinks, but that's a whole other point). In 'They Keep Killing Suzie' Ianto finally makes his move on Jack. Throughout the series Jack implies and demonstrates that he'll have anything, human not necessarily a requirement.

But it takes our anonymous friend until the tender unconsummated romance of 'Captain Jack Harkness' to decide that there's too much of a homosexual agenda being pushed here.

Anonymous said...

Not to sound like a prude, but sometimes Torchwood kinda comes across with the attitude, "We're gay because we CAN be!" Gets a bit annoying. Ianto had a GIRLFRIEND at the outset, but now it seems he's switched sides and it makes me wonder if he did it just to keep his job. I mean, think about it--if you had someone who suddenly switched sides on something, what would you think? Probably the same thing. I'm not trying to sound cynical or critical, it's just that the "gay" thing sometimes ends up taking center stage instead of just part of the show. Left unchecked, Torchwood will end up being "that gay British show" instead of the brilliant show it already is. Make sense?

Anonymous said...

I think one of the points TW is trying to make is that it's not about switching - or taking - sides; that sexuality is a continuum and that sex is about people rather than perceived boundaries.

Jack points out early on that it's not that simple (the 'labels' comment); for example, Tosh is generally presented as straight but had a particular connection with Mary; this doesn't automatically make her gay.

Torchwood has made it its remit to explore people and their relationships, often in a sexual context, so I personally feel it's an integral part of the show - but I still don't think it's purely a 'gay' thing. As I pointed out before, each character also has straight encounters (Gwen and Rhys, Owen and Gwen, Ianto and Lisa, Tosh and Tommy, Jack and... well, everyone). The gay relationships don't get more screentime or emphasis - they just get more of a reaction.

Anonymous said...

[...]resource[...]

Anonymous said...

I wonder whether you realize how powerful your post is!

I am going to copy it into our Torchwood and DW groups (with full acknowledgement of course!) because it needs as wide a readerswhip as possible.

Thank you so much!

Sulamite3

Anonymous said...

Hi jackharkness May I use your blog,I would like to put it into a poster so it can be seen on any stalls we use when we are out & about in the Comnunity I am on the commitee of a LGBT network in Wolverhampton & what you is spot on.
I have tried to send you a email but can't find your addy. So I will leave mine:
jon.samuels@hotmail.co.uk

Fantastic blog.
Jon

Anthony Garnon said...

Thanks for the feedback guys and gals! The positive stuff will sty with me forever - it's the reason I write full stop, never mind this blog; to hear what readers have to say.

The not-so-positive. Well, you know who you are - I don't really have to say any more.

But I will do.

Shame on you!! Did you not got *anything* from that post?! I mean... anything at all?!?!?!?

Ant.

PS: Anybody who's requesting to use this post or any other post from TW.tv, it's fine by me! :)

Vivienne said...

I only discovered this morning when I opened up this week's Radio Times that the documentary in question is actually the first in a three part series. The other two look at musical talent (with Vanessa Mae) and athletic talent (with Colin Jackson). To me this is interesting, because those who possess musical or sporting talent are unquestioningly celebrated, but I would also say are not seen as 'different', but more as 'normal plus', and it looks as if the programme-makers are putting being gay in the same category.

Anonymous said...

I also have mixed feelings on the 'The Making of Me', it hasn't aired yet but I'm wincing and hoping it doesn't alienate people whom are LGBT since that would be horrible. I'm bisexual myself yet am curious about and at the same time kind of hate the idea of the program. I want to know if being gay is genetic as according to some of my uni anthro classes it may be. I'm currently big on the environmental factors as well as genetics = LGBT.

I also love that Torchwood is very 'I don't care' in their attitude towards sexuality. It's nice to see that on a rather popular show.

crmhpfan said...

Amazing, just beautiful. I respect you so much for posting this article. I can see now why you were nominated for the SyFy Genre award; this article itself should be nominated. A truly wonderful and heartfelt speech. Nothing more I can say.

Anonymous said...

Bi-Sexuals are not normal people, do not place them in the same category as gays or lesbians! These degenerates want the best of both worlds, and spread disease from one community to another. It is nothing more than a betrayal to both lifestyles, place them in the same category as pedophiles and cannibals they are sick!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Vivienne said...

There I was fondly imagining that bi-phobia was something that used to happen in the dim and distant past...

Unsafe sex spreads diseases. Safe sex doesn't. Gender of current partner irrelevant. Besides, very few people get to sleep with everyone they fancy. It's perfectly possible to have bisexual desires but only ever sleep with one gender. Or one person, even.

Anonymous said...

Hey there - long time reader, first time poster. I absolutely loved what you said in that entry. It sorta caught me offguard, I thought it was a regular bit of news, but with what left was a great great writing to the masses. Something that should be shared and passed on.

As I was probably the only liberal straight man in a highly conservative school to go against what everyone said was a BIG deal. I am a HUGE gay rights supporter and in favor gay marriage and adoption, and to see what certain religions and cultures these days towards gays and lesbians APPALL me. It's like a friend of mine said, "Why doesn't the world care anymore if they have leaders who are black, doesn't believe in God, or are gay?" I literally said, "Who cares if they're like that? Does that change the demeanor of that person? Does that mean they will not make any decisions any regular person will make? Does it make them any less qualified for the job? No, not one bit. The only difference is their sexual orientation. One tiny little detail in the fabric of everything."

As I see it, it's almost becoming the new prejudice movement; first, minorities, in specific African-Americans, now gays and lesbians. We all share the same blood, the same bodies, the same beliefs. That's what I love bout Torchwood, that it shows trust, loyalty, and friendship transcends all barriers. Yeah, it was flawed as hell in season 1, but season 2 really shows it's awesomeness, especially with this. That's a message that's pivotal for the old generation to realize. The new generation knows it and lives it for the most part, and we can only hope this can continue and to move forward.

Anonymous said...

I find it interesting that I am suppose to accept anything that comes my way..and If i don't it means I am phobic or outdated. I know and love people in my life who are gay. I don't treat them differently and yet I also am not a gay rights supporter. I am also appalled by people who treat others badly for not agreeing with how they live their lives. .But I get treated badly just because I believe that sexual orientation is a choice( often i don't say anything) Even though I have never done anything to anyone I must be Homophobic never mind my best friend for years is gay. hmm funny he could accept how i felt but people who aren't even gay can't. I watch torchwood..love it for a lot of reasons..I like the character Jack a lot. In general I am not a fan of the sexual content of the show buts that not because of him being gay so much as sometimes I felt like the quality of the story/episode was drowned by it(whether straight or gay.)

Anonymous said...

did you wake up one day and decided you are straight? did who make that choice? and yes you are a homophobe

Anonymous said...

Fantastic blog entry (which took me completely off-gaurd, too). Thanks for that.